Changed the begiining to my book please advise you like or not ,should I give up?

My new wife was feeling a little uneasy as I held my known to be strange gaze longer than usual and as we were not naked this gave her cause for concern.It was n`t anything she had said or done it was the look ,dwelling on it my heart sank we had only been married three weeks and it was there ,the same look that I had seen many times before from friends ,family, workmates complete strangers and bosses the look of gobsmacked disbelief that told me I was a loser, idiot, , and or pathetic . I don`t know what it was that everybody hated about me or how I did it but it transcended all cles,nationalities, es and ages above 8 and below 90. I did n`t meet many above that age and If I did ,they did not give a **** (well not one that they could control ) even Alzeimer folk looked at me strangely for a minute then it was gone then it was back again I tried not to tire them with my presence, it was cruel ,I know someone gets upset when you make fun of someone with an in vogue disease ,allergy, condition , sympton or faith imagined or not lke M.E. that their relative or friends kid suffers from .Well my grandma had Alzeimers or just plain crazy **** going off in her head so I can say the A word . The upside to Alzeimers was when I was living with her I got cheap rent because I told that I had paid it to her yesterday ,also sometimes she got me mixed up with a grandkid she actually liked and told me secrets and gave me money to buy dresses . On the down side she told the grandkid that she thought was n`t me what a **** I was